Rich Enough to Understand

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it easy to say words & think the thoughts.But it takes a profound & lasting decision to actually live by the principles daily in every way.

“your only limitations are self-imposed.”hills

if you do not give yourself the luxuries of life , why live life?

you can tell a person’s future by looking at what they spend their time & money on

first pay ourselves , in early period . even when short income. this habit make you independent in last period of life.

living a life that benefits others.

never let a day pass without looking at some perfect work of art,hearing some great piece of satsang,reading and great books.

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Homosexuality thru my eyes n ideas

the famous Kama Sutra states that homosexual sex “is to be engaged in and enjoyed for its own sake as one of the arts.” love is regarded as an eternal force. It is seen as devotion between two people, whether romantic or platonic. common believe love and devotion are important in attaining Moksha or Liberation from the cycle of rebirths.

Sex was promoted within the context of a loving couple – usually heterosexual. On the other hand extremely ascetic schools of thought would have viewed sex as a distraction from the pursuit of Moksha.

  • Romantic love is only natural between a man and a woman, and it is impossible for two men or two women to experience the same form of love.
  • Since romantic love is only possible between a man and a woman, sex between two men or two women can only be the product of lust, and lust is wrong; therefore homosexual activities are wrong.
  • One of the three functions of marriage is Prajaa, the progeny for perpetuation of one’s family. A homosexual couple cannot procreate, and thus cannot be married.
  • Premarital and extramarital sex are wrong, and because homosexuals cannot marry, they should not engage in sexual relationships.

Intelligent Men Control Greed

 

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Majority of the Chanakya quotes on wisdom are quite easy to understand and even this one.

तृष्णया मतिश्छाद्यते। तृष्णा बुद्धि पर आवरण डाल देता है। Greed/thirst puts a cover on intelligence.

In order to validate this Chanakya Sutra, you can try recalling a few mistakes from your past. On doing so you will find that many bad things happened only due to lack of self-control. What happened in past has already happened. All we can do is to learn from our Mistakes and try not repeating them.

  • No man cannot change his past, but every man can influence his future.

How Greed Works?

My personal research says that:

  • The trap of greed targets the inefficiency of a man to take accurate decisions in less time.
  • In addition, it exploits the instinctive desire within a man to win/gain something.

Greed and thirst are very similar. Like a thirsty man lost in desert desires to drink something (anything without considering pros or cons), in same manner a person under influence of greed acts without consideration. In such situations it is only with the help of self-control a man can stop himself from consuming the poisonous milky sap found in few types of cacti and continue looking for the cactus with clear non poisonous liquid.

It’s all about differentiating between “what’s really Right?” and “what appears right?”. All that glitters is not Gold.

Defeat the Greed/Thirst:

Greed is one of the deep rooted vices, but it can be dealt. The following points might help.

Avoid Haste: Give yourself sufficient time to evaluate the pros & cons before beginning a task. In most of the cases haste ends in waste.

In chapter 14 of chanakya neeti it has been stated that “A man regrets upon his act of sin after accomplishing it. If same wisdom be shown before performing the action, then the man will definitely attain Nirvana.

Use logic: Use your mind and be a man of reason. Remember that a wise man asks questions and proceeds only after acquiring a satisfactory answer.

Self ControlSelf control is very important. Be responsible towards oneself. You must have control on your cravings. Don’t allow the pain to sabotage your ability to take right decisions.

Follow Dharma: Be good be righteous.

 

The Reason Behind Friendship and Enmity

 

 

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हेतुतः शत्रुमित्रे भविष्यतः | i.e. there exists a reason behind friendship and behind enmity. This chanakya quote conveys a very direct and important message. Let’s dig deeper…

The reasons?

The reasons can be many, but the point to be noted is that there exists a reason for sure. There always exists a goal to be achieved. This goal might be big or small, beneficial or harmful, clear or unclear, direct or indirect, pious or impious,physical or mental, or short term or long term in nature.

If someone says that he is a friend or enemy without any reason then either he is telling a lie or is out of his mind. At most the person might be working for mental satisfaction without expecting any gains. Everyone has his own reasons usually known and sometimes unknown to oneself.

Do You Exactly Know the Answer for “The Why?”:

Do you really know or you are overlooking the exact reasons? It is very important to have clarity in mind about relationship with anyone. You must be fully aware about:

  • Your level of commitment in that relationship.
  • The person’s level of commitment.
  • The potential benefits you are likely to achieve.
  • The risks involved.
  • Life span of the relationship.
  • The opportunity cost.

* Whatever I am trying to convey has nothing to do with being wicked. All I want to say is that a man must be reasonable.

One Big Blunder:

If the majority has committed same mistake then it does not means that you must follow their footsteps. Most of the people do friendship with people of equal status. There is nothing wrong in it, but many do it for wrong reasons. The list is long, but the two very common reasons are:

  • Befriending someone with similar inabilities.
  • Befriending as mutual sympathy seekers.

Such approach restricts a person’s ability to improve and to grow. If possible and if reasonable then a person must try to befriend a person who has more money, knowledge, skill, and experience. Such friendship is far better in terms of worldly gains.

Enmity:

The priority of a wise man is to avoid friction. Enmity must be avoided at all instances, but sometimes you are not left with an option other than to confront. If it happens, then ensure that you have right set of reasons. It will be useless to:

  • Chase a lost cause.
  • Indulge in a rivalry, just to satisfy your ego.
  • Involve yourself in a conflict where the potential gain is less than required input.

Hopefully! you got the point.

Conclusion:

Physical gains matter a lot, and much higher is the worth of mental satisfaction. Helping others and especially ones who cannot return the favor is one of the best ways to acquire peace of mind.

Before giving, you’ll require to gain and by doing friendship with right people you can gain almost everything.

* Please do not confuse metal satisfaction with idea of satisfying own ego. Have a nice day!

 

Not to Disclose your Weaknesses

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It has been observed that we humans have a tendency to seek sympathy/acceptance of others. Not all, but most of the people do so and in the flow of emotions we reveal a lot of things that were to be kept as a secret. Most probably you yourself have experienced such moments.

Let me tell you one thing that relationships are very dynamic in nature. With time your opponent might become your friend and your trustworthy friends might turn hostile. Also, you cannot be so sure about real intentions of the person in front with soft tone and a lot of sympathy.

You can either risk your safety by revealing your weakness or you can ensure your well being by remaining silent. The choice is not simple, but very simple!

Still, I keep hearing the replies like “I know, but I can’t control myself. Please suggest something”. In such cases the problem can only be fixed by you. Self Control is the simplest answer. No rocket science involved.

Another issue that I would raise today is about substance abuse and alcohol consumption in particular. After getting drunk people say anything (somethings everything). There are obvious health benefits of not drinking alcohol. Another good reason for not drinking alcohol is that you remain in your control and your weaknesses remain a secret.

The moral of the whole story is that you must not share your secrets; even with a friend. Why provide a good friend with opportunity to turn bad. I repeat “SELF CONTROL” is the key. Use it …

  • I never said that you must ignore your weaknesses. Whatever be the fault, it must be fixed.

Think Rational and Think Positive

Emotional Aspect:

Nobody desires trouble in life, but everyone has some or the other problem to deal with. These troubles create a mental unease.

For sure our emotions guide us. To which path they lead; depends on the situation as well as on the nature of emotion itself. In other words it can be said that emotions interfere with our way of thinking either in positive or in negative manner.

To deal with any problem you will require eliminating the mental unease and get yourself into a calm & relaxed state of mind. Bigger the problem, greater will be the pain. Greater the pain, more important it becomes to think positive and to stay calm.

Yes! Positive thoughts can be of great help in eliminating the mental pain. This is the reason why every motivational speaker talks about ‘Positive Attitude’ from time to time.

Be Realistic and Be Rational:

When figuring out a solution, you must do it without or with minimal emotional interference. Just be rational!

This approach helps you in identifying “what’s really important?” and “what the reality is?”. On the other hand a person under influence of his emotions might overlook something important. A man must be smart enough to differentiate between emotional guidance and emotional interference.

Chanakya said  ” दुःसाध्यमपि सुसाधयं करोत्युपायज्ञाः ” i.e.  “One who knows the solution turns difficult into easy”. It’s time!

It’s easy to find the negative about your husband, but focusing on his good attributes is necessary for a healthy, happy marriage.

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  • Sometimes it seems like human nature to find flaws and faults in others and to broadcast them to whomever will listen. This is a useless and damaging practice that needs to stop — especially within a marriage. In a marriage, the husband and wife are on the same team. Thus, a wife should never tear down her husband — to his face or behind his back.
  • Speaking negatively invites more negativity

    Perhaps you had a fight or there are some personality traits or habits that just annoy you. You are tempted to call your girlfriend or family member to “vent.” Pretty soon, you’re thinking of more things that you may not like about your spouse. Not only that, but your venting partner is now thinking those same negative things. As you tear down your husband, the negativity grows rapidly, like pouring gasoline on a fire. Ultimately, it creates greater animosity toward your husband, and the results are nothing but bad.

  • Instead, try speaking about positive traits or not talking at all

    Find things you love about your spouse and dwell on those instead. If something is really bugging you, rather than discuss it with someone (unless it is your husband and talking about it will be productive), try just writing it down and throwing it away. No one likes to be criticized or have their short-comings magnified. There’s always something good about your husband — that’s why you married him in the first place! You may be surprised how your relationship might change for the good by being uplifting instead of hurting your husband.

  • Whether you are negative to his face or behind his back, the words can cause damage

    It’s a painful process to learn, grow and try to change and improve. It’s even harder when the person closest to you will not allow you to change by always rehashing your past faults. Having your closest friend and partner bring you down with hurtful elaborations on your flaws is counter-productive. When you focus on all the things he may be doing wrong, it can potentially hurt your husband mentally, emotionally and physically.

  • Try building him up often

    Husbands really try their best. Compliment the things he does. Thank him for working to provide for the family. Let him know that he is a great dad. Tell him you appreciate him. Remind him of your love for him. Make sure he knows what a great husband he is for you. There is always something wonderful to see. If it’s hard, start small with something like the way he looks. Look for the good he does and compliment that — just like negativity can grow, so can positivity!

  • A marriage takes teamwork and being on the same side

    If you are constantly working against each other with fights, insults or other negative acts, your marriage will likely be unhappy and potentially end in heartache. On a sports team, if teammates were constantly elbowing, kicking shins or talking smack to each other, the team would fall apart. Similarly, you will begin to resent each other, not work together and become enemies. By focusing on bad qualities, you are ultimately damaging your relationship and marriage.

  • Work together

    Good and effective communication, bonding as a couple and building each other up are necessary for a healthy marriage. Your attitude toward your husband can make all the difference. Focusing on his good qualities can make all the difference. When problems arise — and they will — working together for solutions is a lot easier when you can speak with respect and love to your husband.

    Kindness, love and respect can go a long way in improving behavior, thwarting negativity and learning to be a team. Avoid tearing down your husband. Find the wonderful things about him that you fell in love with and focus on those. Your marriage and relationship depends on it.

9 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

 

Husband-wife-problem-solution1. “Yes, I had an orgasm.” (when you didn’t)

Lying is never a great idea, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy. “The definition of intimacy is letting another person see your vulnerabilities,” says Ford, and that includes admitting that your sex life might need some S.O.S. When you pretend you’re enjoying sex, you may think that you’re sparing his feelings, but you’re actually pushing him away by not being honest. And chances are, you aren’t fooling him: The very fact that he’s asking usually means he suspects that something is up. When broaching the subject, start with the positive: “Express appreciation of the fact that he even wants to know—’that’s so thoughtful of you, honey,'” suggests Ford. Then, while you’re both clothed and not in the bedroom, bring up some things you enjoy sexually and that you would like to try in order to enhance the experience next time around, taking care not to place blame on him. By emphasizing what arouses you and what you two can do in the future, you’ll spare his feelings without duping him in the process.

2. “You’re just like your father.

 “This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of the pathway of love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process.

3. “When are you going to find a new job?”

 First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you’re not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want.

4. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,'” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?'” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words.

5. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!

This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be.

6. “You always… [fill in the blank]” or “You never… [fill in the blank]”

 “These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don’t care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing…,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask.

7. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

 Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions.

8. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?

There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?'” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn’t involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.)

9. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that…”

 This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown.