हेतुतः शत्रुमित्रे भविष्यतः | i.e. there exists a reason behind friendship and behind enmity. This chanakya quote conveys a very direct and important message. Let’s dig deeper…
The reasons can be many, but the point to be noted is that there exists a reason for sure. There always exists a goal to be achieved. This goal might be big or small, beneficial or harmful, clear or unclear, direct or indirect, pious or impious,physical or mental, or short term or long term in nature.
If someone says that he is a friend or enemy without any reason then either he is telling a lie or is out of his mind. At most the person might be working for mental satisfaction without expecting any gains. Everyone has his own reasons usually known and sometimes unknown to oneself.
Do You Exactly Know the Answer for “The Why?”:
Do you really know or you are overlooking the exact reasons? It is very important to have clarity in mind about relationship with anyone. You must be fully aware about:
- Your level of commitment in that relationship.
- The person’s level of commitment.
- The potential benefits you are likely to achieve.
- The risks involved.
- Life span of the relationship.
- The opportunity cost.
* Whatever I am trying to convey has nothing to do with being wicked. All I want to say is that a man must be reasonable.
One Big Blunder:
If the majority has committed same mistake then it does not means that you must follow their footsteps. Most of the people do friendship with people of equal status. There is nothing wrong in it, but many do it for wrong reasons. The list is long, but the two very common reasons are:
- Befriending someone with similar inabilities.
- Befriending as mutual sympathy seekers.
Such approach restricts a person’s ability to improve and to grow. If possible and if reasonable then a person must try to befriend a person who has more money, knowledge, skill, and experience. Such friendship is far better in terms of worldly gains.
The priority of a wise man is to avoid friction. Enmity must be avoided at all instances, but sometimes you are not left with an option other than to confront. If it happens, then ensure that you have right set of reasons. It will be useless to:
- Chase a lost cause.
- Indulge in a rivalry, just to satisfy your ego.
- Involve yourself in a conflict where the potential gain is less than required input.
Hopefully! you got the point.
Physical gains matter a lot, and much higher is the worth of mental satisfaction. Helping others and especially ones who cannot return the favor is one of the best ways to acquire peace of mind.
Before giving, you’ll require to gain and by doing friendship with right people you can gain almost everything.
* Please do not confuse metal satisfaction with idea of satisfying own ego. Have a nice day!